Oh Mr. Swift...

I remember A Modest Proposal from my high school British Literature class. My classmates and I were appalled to read Jonathan Swift's idea that the Irish should breed and raise their children for the dinner tables of rich English living in Ireland. At that point, our English teacher explained satire and irony.

Really, Mr. Swift is pretty pissed. He "proposes" a solution to so many of Ireland's woes, some of them actual problems, and others as perceived by the ruling English government. The tone of the piece which outwardly is so cheerful and helpful is actually quite vicious. It seems to me that Mr. Swift was so frustrated by the rejections of his actual suggestions to help the Irish, that he wrote this to shock the English into realizing how poorly they were treating their fellow human beings. So Mr. Swift simply "suggests" a more literal way to treat the Irish like animals, since, he implies, the English landlords already view and treat them that way. Or maybe he is suggesting that animals are treated better than the Irish. He points out that wives would not be abused for fear of damaging their now profitable children in the womb. His "modest proposal" really is miraculous and just what the English want: it will be inexpensive to implement and should turn a profit; even better it will be painless for the English. All they have to do is resort to cannibalism. According to Mr. Swift, it really is the next logical step for the treatment of the Irish "...as they [the landlords] have already devoured most of the Parents..."they should also be quite happy to literally eat the children.

People have been known to resort to cannibalism in dire situations. However, the English landlords that Mr. Swift suggests would enjoy the delicacy of Irish babies did not lack other food options. He's criticizing the English rule, not actually proposing cannibalism. In fact, he's depending on the abhorrence of it to get his point across. It's like he's saying "Fine, you want a solution that is painless yet cures all evils, here it is: eat babies." His point is that helping the Irish will not be without effort and discomfort, and the English must suck it up and do something. Because the miracle cure they want does not actually exist.

In the same spirit as Mr. Swift (or maybe a bit less viciously), Mr. Mark Twain comments on the workings of politicians and Congress through his tale of cannibalism:

• Twain, Mark. Cannibalism in the Cars: the Best of Twain's Humorous Sketches. Ed. Roy Blout. London: Prion Books, 2000.

EDITED 5/29/08 for formatting